Life in the Mommy hood

Wrote this a week or two ago. Baby bear has now moved on to his new family.

Life in the mommy hood looks like this:
A circus.
Yes I feel like instead of becoming a mom I have become a circus entertainer.
My particular circus for the last two weeks has been a three ring variety. Below are some examples of our top tier acts:

Princess screaming: MOMMY MY BUTT HURTS!!!!
Me: did you forget to wipe again?
Princess: yesssssssssss
Me: go wipe your bottom
Princess: runs off
................................. Silence.....................

Princess: walking back to me says: Mom!! I didn't forget to wipe! My butt is just scratchy.
Me: shakes head


Princess: totally melting down in front yard while I'm feeding the baby in the house with the door open
Cause of this melt down you may ask??

A bee flew by.



Princess: gets a cherry sprite to drink, few minutes later, it sounds as if someone has been murdered in the back seat.
Me: what is wrong sweetie?
Princess: they forgot my cherry!!!!!!!!
Me: we will get you one next time.
Princess: eventually stops crying.


Several minutes later............ More wailing.

Me: what is wrong now sweet pea?
Princess: I'M STILL MISSING MY CHERRY!!!!

Oh dear.


Baby bear:
Changing baby bears diaper. Baby bear loves to poop the minute the diaper loses contact with the bottom. Today it creates something similar to a sprinkler. 4yo is in room I tell to take cover. Thank goodness no one is assaulted by poo sprinkler system.

Baby bear also loves to spit up down momma's shirt. Very talented at aiming that baby is.

Bath time to baby bear means, free for all to pee on Dad. Wahahahaha!!! At least this is one bodily function that doesn't land on me.

Sparkle: smart, funny, caring, and scared to pieces of any type of bug. However, upon finding out that Momma is afraid of frogs, 6yo finds the courage to stab a frog carcass with a plastic fork and run at Momma like there is no tomorrow.

Sparkle was walking through the yard beside me and all of a sudden launches skyward at an alarming rate of speed. Screaming: LOBSTER!!! LOBSTER!!!! THERE IS A LOBSTER IN THE YARD!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!! HURRY HELP IT IS A LOBSTER!!!!!

Poor kid didn't know that it was a crawdad, but found it utterly hilarious when the chickens are lobster for dinner.


*So, I know that it's hard to read when you don't get the names of the kiddos in the story, but I can't put any identifying information on here. These are the best nick names I could think of today.